the necessity of forgiveness

I believe that every human on this earth needs to let go of something or someone that has caused them anything related to hurt or pain. Forgiving is oftentimes replaced with the holding of grudges or lashing out. Do you know why? It’s because it is far easier that way. It is hard to do what is right, but what I think is worse is the hard wall that we put up by being unforgiving. It is when the walls that everyone has up are raised higher and reinforced to be stronger when more pain is caused. Why is it that we hold on to what caused us pain, just to allow for more pain? As much as someone very well deserves your grudge against them, you are making the recovery process so much harder on yourself.

What I have found to be more impactful than the act of forgiveness, is the repetition of it. Someone wise once told me that he forgives every single day, multiple times a day if he has to. So I encourage not only anyone reading this, but myself as well, to 1) make a list of those that have caused you any hurt, 2) forgive each and every one of them (short and sweet), and 3) do it all over again the next day. If this does not become a routine, then just forgive when they pop into your mind.

Waiting for an apology is like allowing someone to hold you hostage… don’t drink your own poison.

Trust me, it is not easy. In fact, if you can be stubborn like me, it will be quite the struggle, but please learn to let go. Even though they do not deserve forgiveness, you do so don’t forgive them because they deserve it, forgive them so you can be free. The good thing is, you don’t need them to accept it because you can just do it in your head.

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.“ His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” -Matthew 18: 23-35

As you can see, forgiveness truly is essential and the freedom that comes with it (slowly but surely) is worth it. But your heart has to be in it. So, forgive, forgive, forgive until you hold no more anger, want for revenge, jealousy, pride, or pain. Forgive them 500 times if you have to but the timeframe will be up to you. However long it takes for you to truly mean it, which will happen in time. For some encouragement: Phillipians 3:13-14 shares, “Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.

The righteous shall move onward and forward; those with pure hearts shall become stronger and stronger.

Job 17:9